Yesterday was my half birthday

[browngirl]

And I wanted very much to post something that really came from within me, as I did last year and again six months ago. All my writing comes from me (tautology, there) but it's more or less admixed with what I think people want to see. I really wanted to post a story that was purely about what I want to write.

I didn't have any such thing to post. I'm still writing, but I think my pace has slowed. I find myself feeling as if I'm letting someone down by that, but, really, this is all supposed to be about having fun. I have the unfortunate habit of beating myself when I think I'm not being productive, but I know from my childhood that being beaten, whether by my parents or internally by myself, makes me *less* productive, not more. If I can take the pressure off I can be more creative.

And that's quite enoutgh about the inside of my head. My point, and the reason I'm actually posting this, is that I think I'm not going to be writing as much as I used to. I'll still be writing, in both my fandoms, and I'll use the summer to write rough drafts of several longer things which I can then polish and post later. (Including some not-porn. Lately it seems all I post are drabbles and porn.) I've kept some stories back to have a semi-consistent level of output, but I think I'm just going to post them and let my output reflect how much I'm actually writing. I thought I should say something to this effect, so people know where I am as they consider their friends list lineups and so on.

Besides, if I'm writing less one thing I can do is read (and comment) more, which is doubtless a more socially useful thing for me to do anyway.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Ayuh, reading and commenting is important too.

Thing about having been in a fandom for a while is that you begin to use up the ideas that struck you hardest when you first encountered the material. There are a few notions that crop up later, but the things that gave you the worst case of pen-itch have already seen the light of day. It slows things down, quite naturally.

As you say, beating yourself up about it is counterproductive. Write when you want to/need to and enjoy yourself. That's the important bit.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

Thing about having been in a fandom for a while is that you begin to use up the ideas that struck you hardest when you first encountered the material.

*nod* This is very true.

Thank you, a lot. :)

[blackbird-song.livejournal.com]

Just your friendly, neighborhood pest here, weighing in yet again.

Slowing down, especially given the circumstances and feelings which you describe, is an excellent idea. It gives you time to think, review, ponder and breathe, all of which are beneficial to life, both physical and creative. Writing not-porn is also a wonderful thing to do. It gives one a chance to dig more deeply into character and emotion, without the distraction of what goes where, when and how hard.

Polishing one's work is a very good thing, imho, and I know that I am generally taking more time to do that with my own writing. (Not that I was ever exactly fast or prolific!) I think it also gives one a chance to enjoy the process, although I, for one, must be careful not to beat myself too badly or too often over the same sentence.

As much as I love it when you read and comment on my fics, I would never say that reading and commenting is a "more socially useful thing... to do". Writing can be just as useful, socially, and can open up paths of conversation and friendship that might not otherwise have been available to you or the people who discover you. I do find that when I am stuck or tapped out, it is both useful and frustrating to read other people's work. I often find myself learning from it and cursing myself, and then recognizing that the genre in which they write so well is not something which I necessarily want to pursue. (I doubt, for example, that I will ever write much in the way of BDSM, though if the right challenge came along, that might very well change.)

Anyway, best of luck with your summer writing and planning. You are most certainly not letting me down, and I truly doubt, as I have said in another comment to you, that you are letting anyone else down. Those who want their fics "nownownow!" can write them for themselves.

Catherine

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

You are never a pest, and you are always wise and certainly right.

*huggles you*

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

Well, the way I see it is that this is supposed to be fun, a break from the mundane and harsh reality of life. When I start feeling pressured by oh, I should finish this WIP or I should write this story I promised so-n-so, then it becomes not so fun and more work and I rebel. I end up wanting to write something else completely. Well, lately, I've just decided to go with that. If I want to write about Frodo and Aragorn living in a crack house in the Australian Outback, then I'm going to write that. People might be disappointed.

For example, in regards to feeling guilty about finishing WIPs...There are people who love to read WIPs just because it gives them pleasure to read that part of the story and they're not that attached to whether it ever gets finished or how long it takes (*raises hand*) and then there are those who don't read WIPs. Well, those same people who have told me that they'd read my stuff when it's no longer a WIP never come back and read it anyway, so I no longer worry about what anyone thinks anymore. In other words, I'm not going to cater to the folk that don't read WIPs because I don't think they'll read it anyway and those who enjoy reading WIP for the sake of reading WIPs are going to read it no matter how long it takes...:-D In other words, the best writing from me comes when it doesn't feel forced.

I'm sorry, I'm totally babbling :-D But I think you know what I mean...*hugs* Just do what you need to do to keep enjoying the process and seeing this as a pleasant escape.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

*nod* Obeekaybee. :)

PS I love your icon!

[(Anonymous)]

Happy half birthday Ruby!

AS far as I'm concerned take the time to write about what you want. Sure people appreciate you as an author, but you are not letting anybody down by writing to your own rythme...You don't want to become an "order" writer do you! (I don't know if that made any sense in English. I'm talking about writers who have to produce stories quickly and who don,t get to chose the subject, they receive an order for something specific - which is the opposite of crative freedom.

Anyway, what are your favorite characters and situations right now?

Nimue

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

You make perfect sense there. Thank you, Nimue. :D

[danachan.livejournal.com]

Happy half birthday! Though I'm a bit late... (Didn't I talk to you on your half birthday? I can't remember...)

Slowing down and taking your time sounds like a good thing to do. Polishing your work is also a fine idea -- and if you're writing and forcing yourself and beating yourself up, well, it takes all the fun away. Definitely counter productive.

Love you. I say it a lot, and hey, I mean it.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

Yep, we did talk on my halfbirthday. That was one of the highlights of the day. :D

*hugs you warmly* Love you, too.

[just-ann-now.livejournal.com]

Hello, darlin'! Happy belatedhalfbirthday!

About the writing: unless what you are writing here buys the bread to go into your babies'mouths, it's supposed to be fun. It won't be fun if you're beating yourself over the head about if you've done it or not. Relax!

I'm not a prolific writer by any means, mostly drabbles and other silliness posted very sporadically. I go long periods (well, maybe a week or so - but proportionally to the length of my works that's a long time, right?) without writing. To make things worse, when I'm in a not-writing phase I do lots of reading and commenting; for example for the MEFA's, and find myself reading stuff so gorgeous it makes me want to give up writing completely. Aaargh!

But then someone will come up with a plot bunny or a nuzgul or whatever you want to call it that will tickle my fancy, and off I go. That happy successful fun-writing inspires more; and then nice supportive comments like icing on the cake or unexpected presents and whee! it all starts again. So don't worry about your muses, or your output projections and production schedules. It's supposed to be fun, right? And it will be again.

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

How could I have missed this when you wrote it?

At any rate, late but all the more heartfelt for it: thank you for telling me this. *huggles*