The Great and Terrible Fruitcake Project

[browngirl]

So, the wind is cool in the mornings, the sky clear and blue in a way only seen in the fall. As they have for several years, my thoughts turned to fruitcake.

But this year, I felt a certain... terror. I don't know if I have it in me this year to do the project like I have in previous years, especially around J. and E, but mostly just based on what my available energy currently seems to be. I know every year I talk about scaling it back, but this year I really must or risk promising more than I can accomplish, which would be utterly unacceptable. I could just take the year off, but I do love this project, and I'm afraid a hiatus will turn permanent. So.

For those who haven't seen me descend into fruitcake-related insanity before: I usually offer 4-5 different recipes/flavors of fruitcake (last year's are described here with recipes here), and a box of samples with 6 or 8 assorted bite-size cakelings. A gallery of cakes may be seen here.

[Poll #1457318]

Comments

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

Your fruitcakes are to die for -- but it's more important that you not beat yourself up over putting too much pressure on yourself! ♥

[the-new-perfect.livejournal.com]

Seconded, except that I have only dreamed of your fruitcakes.

[lblanchard.livejournal.com]

I think you should picture your perfect fruitcakery season and then do that. I can't imagine baking fruitcakes for the multitudes. Heck, I can't even imagine baking a fruitcake for myself!

(I do, on the other hand, crochet snowflakes every year...)

[treacle-well.livejournal.com]

Really, whatever feels most comfortable to you.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

My REAL answer is "do whatever is best for you." You do not owe anybody fruitcakes. Your fruitcakes are WONDERFUL, and everybody loves them -- but you should only do the fruitcake project if the pleasure YOU get from it exceeds the stress.

Not the pleasure that anybody ELSE gets from it.

This is something that often gets lost among our friends, not just you but our social group in general. We're a volunteer-y crowd, we are. We volunteer for sci-fi cons, theater groups, the SCA, our synogogues, churches, and covens, political causes, social causes.

It can be hard to remember that these are volunteer. Okay, some of these things may be so important that we must do them even if we're not enjoying them -- Jim MacDonald is a volunteer EMT in his town, and I can see that he really might go and continue to volunteer even if he really doesn't want to.

But, as much as I love your fruitcakes, they're a different category. They're more on the level of community theater. They bring beauty into the world, they are a LOT of work, and people appriciate them -- but nobody feels bad if someone says, "No, I've got too many other things going on in the next couple months; I'm not going to audition for $_PLAY."

I love it when my friends are putting up shows, and they're always good shows. But I don't resent if someone's NOT in a play. I want them to be in a play if and ONLY if THEY want to be in a play.

And that's what your fruitcake project is. You put as much time and effort, and money, into your fruitcake project as our friends put into theater productions.

You don't OWE fruitcakes to anybody, any more than Gilly, Erica, Brian Bermack, Jacob, or any of the rest of them OWE anybody a theater performance. We really like it and appriciate it when they do it, but we only want them to do it if they're doing it for THEMSELVES.

[lomedet.livejournal.com]

I Agree With This Post.

Do what makes you happy, love.

[eudociainboston.livejournal.com]

Only do as much (or not at all) as you want. We all care about you and want you to be happy. Those people getting fruitcakes only want them if you enjoy making them, otherwise it will taste like ashes knowing it was a stressful, fun-free process. Everything you make is wonderful and some of that is the sheer joy you put in the process.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

I don't know how you do things, but I find having everything I send out be exactly the same -- any box can go to any recipient -- makes it both less stressful and easier to hand off the mailing part of the job to a helper.

Six minis is a nice generous package...but I think most of your giftees would be thrilled with four, if that bit of scaling back also helped.

[guiltyred.livejournal.com]

I think most of your giftees would be thrilled with four

I agree with this - four stress-free happy cakes!

[eustaciavye.livejournal.com]

Consider recruiting a cadre of sous-chefs?
(I like to bake and I'm right down the street)

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Oh man. If I lived nearby, I would be SO THERE.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, I'm going to say the same as everyone else: picture the Best of All Bests and do that. We won't love you any less. You've given so much already; no one is going to think 'hrm' if you scale back for awhile, no matter what the reason.

That said, I fervently hope that this will be the year that I get at least try a piece of cake and see what all the clamor is about. :-)

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

I'd say the six minis, with the option for people who have dietary restrictions to get one of the gluten-free /white /reduced sugar cakes if they let you know in enough time for you to do a batch.

[chillyrodent.livejournal.com]

So, if you took a hiatus it would make you less, rather than more happy? I recall that you've been struggling through this lean economy, and I can imagine that the expense of ingredients and postage would add to that struggle.

I don't think cutting back is chintzy at all. Cutting back keeps the spirit of the project (IF you prefer not to take a break), relaxes the financial stress and physical labor, and still lets your friends enjoy your generosity.

So, these "samples" ... are they the size of a cupcake? Because, if you're talking about those mini cake pans, that's a gift-size all on its own.

[gingicat]

It doesn't look chintzy to cut back. YOU NEED A YEAR OFF.

[karadin.livejournal.com]

We love your fruitcakes, but not so it is an ordeal! Perhaps make some faves, send one cake out to one household so it is a surprise, and just make note of those who need certain kinds because they have dietary restrictions.

[bercilakslady.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about cutting back. It's really okay, and no one will be upset. If you can manage to do a "for people with restrictions" batch, that's awesome, but see what people want before you do so, and see if you can make small batches of those, or combine them somehow.

I'm about to be doing all holidays all the time on weekends, as you know, but if I can manage to come over and help with baking, if you end up baking this year, I will do so.

If you need time off completely, do that. It's really okay.

[purlewe.livejournal.com]

I too have often wondered what would happen if I took a hiatus from some of the things I love to do.. and I found I filled it with other things that made me be creative. So I suspect you would do the same.

I no longer make 20 doz cookies in one day and give them away. So while your fruitcake might be something you love and still want to do (I still want to make cookies, but maybe not for everyone) Maybe you could make a couple for some very dear frieds and maybe make something else for others. Last yr I made about 120 jars of jam. This yr I am making cordials. It is still creative, but gives me less burnout. And I can always make cookies for my sweetheart and a platter for work if I want.

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

While your fruitcake is a highlight of the season, and every bite is a treasure, if you need to take a year off, please do so. We most certainly understand. Your fruitcake is Not why we care so very much about you.

[maya-a.livejournal.com]

What she said. We love you, and it's not because of your fruitcakes, however wonderful they are (and they are!). If you need to cut your stress level, do it.

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

I didn't choose an option in the poll, because I agree with xiphias and other posters: I don't know what's easiest for you; only you can decide that. More specifically, I don't know whether N full-sized fruitcakes are more or less work than 6N minis, for whatever value of N you choose (including zero!)

Neither taking a year off nor cutting back are "chintzy". I would rather have a happy, healthy you than a pile of stress-soaked fruitcakes. (Silly rabbit! Rum is for fruitcakes! ...um, anyway)

If the thought of making fruitcakes fills you with dread, It's Time For A Break.

If you do decide to go forward, please let us know how to support the project. Do any of your usual ingredient vendors offer gift certificates? Alas, Chicago is too far away for me to offer to come and help.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

My actual answer is, perhaps offer to fewer households, or another way in which you wouldn't have to make /as much/.

Or, take a year off, even though I know you love it. But I also know it drains you.

[guiltyred.livejournal.com]

I've only just heard about your fruitcakes, and I have to confess here, fruitcake in any form is one of my favorite treats - I'd totally be willing to pay for them, if you made them for sale.

That said...I know that cooking, especially in great quantity for holidays, can be exhausting. Fulfilling, but exhausting. Someone up the thread suggested offering just four minis, and someone else pointed out that just one mini would be a gift-size all its own. I wholeheartedly agree with both (what? I'm a Libra!) and that you should ask yourself what option would give you the most happiness.

[guiltyred.livejournal.com]

Aha! I just noticed your recipe post! *plots to make my own cake...*

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

No such thing as chintzy. Don't worry about that.

I'm going to offer my opinion up for the sample box of 4 cakes, and that everyone gets one of those samples with no customizing.

[poltr1]

What everyone said. There is no *obligation* to make fruitcakes. If it stresses you out, skip a year. I don't think people will love you less because you took care of yourself.

[otherdeb.livejournal.com]

You should do whatever will work best for you. We will all understand. And if, by chance, anyone doesn't, I would be happy to explain it to him/her using a cluebat and words of very small syllables.

[redbird]

Give yourself a break, and come back to it when you're feeling refreshed and enthusiastic: you don't owe the fruitcakes to anyone, and those of us who care about you would rather have a healthy, happy Ny than even the best of fruitcakes.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

What I think is that you should do whatever makes thoughts of fruitcake, and sharing it with those you share it with, a glad space for you. If that means making one type of fruitcake/box of samples for everyone, awesome! If that means giving limited choices to folks, also awesome. For me, taking a year off, or just doing the same for everyone, sounds least stressful. Once you start getting into having to coordinate different choices, it starts to sound more stressful.

[ailbhe]

It's an absolute *monster* project to do year after year after year without a break. And expensive. I've seen the menu of choices you offer, tailoring deliveries to the recipients, and it's mindboggling.

What would happen if you baked the cakes FIRST and then offered the *existing* *limited* set to people? would not having enough to go around hurt too much to do it that way?

[spinrabbit.livejournal.com]

Agreeing with the general thrust of commentary here.

You should make the number and types of fruitcakes, for the recipients and occasion, that give you the most joy with only minimal, transient stress. If that means penciling in the next fruitcake fest to culminate Guy Fawkes Day, 2011, with a dozen cakes each to three recipients, that would be eccentric but nonetheless cool.

(I say minimal, transient stress because I can never bring any project, no matter how small and pleasant, to completion with no stress. I suspect this to be true of you as well.)

My selfish answer to your poll would be the sampler, but the real answer is whatever gives you the slack you need.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, I'm going to get all shrinky at you for a minute.

You're a very giving person, and the impression I've always gotten is that although you're a genuinely nice and kind person, you give so much because you're not sure that you're worthy of being loved, without the giving.

If I were your therapist, I'd ask you to make baked goods only for yourself (and maybe for birthdays for CLOSE friends) for some amount of time -- six months, maybe -- and notice that people still seem happy to have you around. Are you are still welcome everywhere you go, are you still greeted enthusiastically, and so on? I bet you are.

Giving is a fine and beautiful thing, and everyone should do it. Giving until it hurts, or giving because you're not sure that you're worth knowing without it -- that's a totally different animal. That kind of giving is bad for you.

You ARE worthy, just as you are. People DO want to know you, just as you are. You don't need to bribe us to love you; we'll do that just because you're you.

(I apologize if this is inappropriately shrinky or if it's already been said -- I didn't read all 36 comments.)

*hug*