The Great and Terrible Fruitcake Project
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
browngirlSo, the wind is cool in the mornings, the sky clear and blue in a way only seen in the fall. As they have for several years, my thoughts turned to fruitcake.
But this year, I felt a certain... terror. I don't know if I have it in me this year to do the project like I have in previous years, especially around J. and E, but mostly just based on what my available energy currently seems to be. I know every year I talk about scaling it back, but this year I really must or risk promising more than I can accomplish, which would be utterly unacceptable. I could just take the year off, but I do love this project, and I'm afraid a hiatus will turn permanent. So.
For those who haven't seen me descend into fruitcake-related insanity before: I usually offer 4-5 different recipes/flavors of fruitcake (last year's are described here with recipes here), and a box of samples with 6 or 8 assorted bite-size cakelings. A gallery of cakes may be seen here.
[Poll #1457318]
But this year, I felt a certain... terror. I don't know if I have it in me this year to do the project like I have in previous years, especially around J. and E, but mostly just based on what my available energy currently seems to be. I know every year I talk about scaling it back, but this year I really must or risk promising more than I can accomplish, which would be utterly unacceptable. I could just take the year off, but I do love this project, and I'm afraid a hiatus will turn permanent. So.
For those who haven't seen me descend into fruitcake-related insanity before: I usually offer 4-5 different recipes/flavors of fruitcake (last year's are described here with recipes here), and a box of samples with 6 or 8 assorted bite-size cakelings. A gallery of cakes may be seen here.
[Poll #1457318]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-14 07:48 pm (UTC)You're a very giving person, and the impression I've always gotten is that although you're a genuinely nice and kind person, you give so much because you're not sure that you're worthy of being loved, without the giving.
If I were your therapist, I'd ask you to make baked goods only for yourself (and maybe for birthdays for CLOSE friends) for some amount of time -- six months, maybe -- and notice that people still seem happy to have you around. Are you are still welcome everywhere you go, are you still greeted enthusiastically, and so on? I bet you are.
Giving is a fine and beautiful thing, and everyone should do it. Giving until it hurts, or giving because you're not sure that you're worth knowing without it -- that's a totally different animal. That kind of giving is bad for you.
You ARE worthy, just as you are. People DO want to know you, just as you are. You don't need to bribe us to love you; we'll do that just because you're you.
(I apologize if this is inappropriately shrinky or if it's already been said -- I didn't read all 36 comments.)
*hug*