Mini-DVD Meme Rides Again
Feb. 6th, 2011 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
browngirlI was going to stay up till midnight so this would be posted tomorrow, but I'm groggy. Anyway, this is going around, and I thought, why not?
Pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, from anything I've written in this journal, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Like Petra over at Dreamwidth I reserve the right to lie egregiously about anything over 3 years old. My stories are listed by character (and sometimes topic) here: http://rubynye.livejournal.com/tag/
Pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, from anything I've written in this journal, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Like Petra over at Dreamwidth I reserve the right to lie egregiously about anything over 3 years old. My stories are listed by character (and sometimes topic) here: http://rubynye.livejournal.com/tag/
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Date: 2011-02-07 05:41 am (UTC)Hikaru doesn't laugh. He gasps, because Pavel squeezes him, and doesn't laugh, remembering that Pavel's in the less-than-half of Starfleet Academy who didn't sleep with Cadet Extraordinaire Jim Kirk. "He, yeah, he's good," Hikaru says, as one of the more-than-half who did.
"He is something of an expert," Pavel says, and Hikaru can hear that smirk. "And he has that mouth." He underscores this with a little flutter of fingers, as if imitating the motion of lips; Hikaru can't help it, he moans out a laugh, and Pavel sucks in an affronted breath. "I knew--"
"No, no," Hikaru struggles to say, with hands and words both. "No, he's a good choice."
"So you do not think I am, responding, inappropriately, to authority?" Pavel's getting breathless, punctuating the sentence with gasps, but Hikaru boggles that he can say something that complicated by now.
"I can't be doing this right," he replies, twisting his hand and feeling the answering shudder, "if you can even say that." He runs his thumb in the crease behind the head, and gets a gratifying moan. "And no, I, no. Kirk is..." Hikaru can't quite form words about Jim Kirk while Pavel's thighs tighten around his, but he pictures Kirk watching them, blond hair mussed and blue eyes avid, and fuck but the thought's so hot he moans too.
"Yes, that." Pavel leans on Hikaru's chest, getting closer, maybe getting tired of talking. "You always do this right, better than right," he says so matter-of-factly it's Hikaru's turn to blush hotter than the flush of sex all over his skin. "And, you know the Captain already, and he will be, not careless, easy. Easygoing."
Easy's accurate too, but Hikaru is seriously low on words at the moment.
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Date: 2011-02-08 05:59 pm (UTC)Hikaru doesn't laugh. He gasps, because Pavel squeezes him, and doesn't laugh, remembering that Pavel's in the less-than-half of Starfleet Academy who didn't sleep with Cadet Extraordinaire Jim Kirk. "He, yeah, he's good," Hikaru says, as one of the more-than-half who did.
My Hikaru... he has an ambivalent liking of Kirk because deep in his soul he knows that in another universe I'm writing loads of Kirk/Sulu and McCoy/Chekov instead of Kirk/McCoy and Chekov/Sulu. But, as can be seen, my particular Hikaru likes this universe just slightly better.
"He is something of an expert," Pavel says, and Hikaru can hear that smirk. "And he has that mouth." He underscores this with a little flutter of fingers, as if imitating the motion of lips; Hikaru can't help it, he moans out a laugh, and Pavel sucks in an affronted breath. "I knew--"
Pavel is horny, bawdy, observant, and seventeen. I work with seventeen year old boys, and I overhear them discussing sex more than they realize.
"So you do not think I am, responding, inappropriately, to authority?" Pavel's getting breathless, punctuating the sentence with gasps, but Hikaru boggles that he can say something that complicated by now.
This is basically two intertwined conversations, one physical and one verbal. So they interweave.
"I can't be doing this right," he replies, twisting his hand and feeling the answering shudder, "if you can even say that." He runs his thumb in the crease behind the head, and gets a gratifying moan.
In case the reader forgot exactly what they're currently doing besides talking.
"And no, I, no. Kirk is..." Hikaru can't quite form words about Jim Kirk while Pavel's thighs tighten around his, but he pictures Kirk watching them, blond hair mussed and blue eyes avid, and fuck but the thought's so hot he moans too.
AHEHEH. Hikaru did enjoy sleeping with Jim, if not his love-em-and-leave-em attitude.
"Yes, that." Pavel leans on Hikaru's chest, getting closer, maybe getting tired of talking. "You always do this right, better than right," he says so matter-of-factly it's Hikaru's turn to blush hotter than the flush of sex all over his skin.
Pavel and Hikaru's love is deep, hot, and pure.
"And, you know the Captain already, and he will be, not careless, easy. Easygoing."
I've worked hard to convey that English is not Pavel's first language, without overdoing it. I almost never write out his accent, for instance. (There are reasons for the 'almost', but I never write more than a word or two.)
Easy's accurate too, but Hikaru is seriously low on words at the moment.
The verbal conversation is fading in favor of the physical (and has done what the story needs it to do, anyway). :D