Planetary Gender Theory

[browngirl]

(Aka, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and right now I feel like a visitor from another planet.)

This is going to take as much introduction as a Simpsons episode; bear with me.

Over in the comic book fandom I'm involved with Project Girl.Wonder, an effort to gain recognition/a memorial for a particular character (Stephanie Brown) and generally to combat sexism in comics.

This has, unsurprisingly, led to rather a few debates.

In one of the many ones, I saw this particular [to me, bogglesome] statement: "Objectification of women isn't wrong because without objectification the human race wouldn't exist, because objectification is necessary for men to be sexually attracted to women and therefore have sex."

This reminds me of the time on the PolyBoston Mailing List when Thud and cohorts argued that rape would be justified to preserve the human race and therefore couldn't be universally condemned. But, I digress.

I realized that one of the reasons I found this statement objectionable is that I found it confusing; this is completely not how my experience of sexual attraction works. The more attracted to someone I am the more singular they appear in my mind, the more unique attributes of theirs I notice. (Needless to say, I also found it horrifying, but be that as it may.)

But, it strikes me, I could be being a girl about this. And reality is what it is, whether we would it be so or not.

So, what do people think? Is attraction bound up in objectification for men? Is it necessary to see a woman as solely a collection of her sexual parts to be sexually attracted to her?

Comments

[sage]

Okay, looking at it just from a rhetoric standpoint, everything is hinging on how you and the person who wrote that statement each define "objectification".

In my view, aesthetic appreciation of a human being's body (be that person male or female) is different from reducing their essence to nothing more than a collection of holes to receive (or deliver) semen.

I don't think there's anything wrong with admiring someone's body. But I think there's a lot wrong with disrespecting someone's essential humanity.

I think it also says a lot about the guys' self-esteem if they're claiming the only way the species would continue is if they raped the surviving women. If they believe no women could ever willingly choose them, then they do definitely have a problem.

Actually, that's something I'd love to see more of in comics -- women choosing to love men and men feeling loved and able to love in return. Confidence in one's lovability is sexy.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Okay, looking at it just from a rhetoric standpoint, everything is hinging on how you and the person who wrote that statement each define "objectification".

Good point. If one person means "a fruit" and another means "a color" when they're discussing the term "orange" they may both end up confused. In context, though, I think he was using the commonly held meaning of objectification, to make a person into an object, with the attendant connotations of *reducing* them to an object. So I feel justified in being slightly disparaging of him.

I think it also says a lot about the guys' self-esteem if they're claiming the only way the species would continue is if they raped the surviving women. If they believe no women could ever willingly choose them, then they do definitely have a problem.

Oh, that was from another discussion, from awhile ago, but a similarly fun one.

Actually, that's something I'd love to see more of in comics -- women choosing to love men and men feeling loved and able to love in return. Confidence in one's lovability is sexy.


AMEN!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I can see "confidence in one's lovability is sexy" only to the extent of being the inverse of "desperation is a turn-off", and even then only by squinting; there are many kinds of surety of being lovable that are really obnoxious, and while I am at the point where I can have faith in being loved by specific people who do love me, which is a very wonderful thing, going from those specific cases to a more general confidence in being lovable is not something my brain seems wired for.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's the context thing again? Because the way I read "Confidence in one's lovability is sexy" is in the good sense of "believing that one is potentially lovable and specifically loved by those who have made it clear that they honestly do love one, is sexy". Not in a "yay, arrogance!" sense.

Also, I am giggling uncontrollably, at this point. *giggles very much*

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I think it also says a lot about the guys' self-esteem if they're claiming the only way the species would continue is if they raped the surviving women.

Not actually a species I'd want to see survive in that case, tbh.