My Weekend With My Parents
Jun. 9th, 2003 05:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
browngirlI'm not in a hot mood at the moment, but I wanted to make sure that I made it clear that that is not because of my weekend. My parents and I actually had a wonderful weekend together.
So, I'm going home, for a church event, I have to get my hair done. Sigh. But, I did, and headed off to the train station, and thence to my parents'. The train ride was enlivened by Ursula K. LeGuin's collection of stories, A Fisherman of the Inland Sea, which has, as well as some really nifty ideas, a foreword which is an essay on what science fiction is, and is not, that I wish I could mail to Margaret Atwood, among others. I would tell you about my favorite stories from the collection, but I love them all, really.
At Stamford (CT), the (bloody ludicrous) phones wouldn't let me call outside the 203 area code, so I had to call my cousins to ask them to call my parents. Whee. At any rate, my parents came to get me, bringing food no less, and were just good to me. I lay in bed and listened to my father singing around the house and felt tears of happiness come to my eyes.
Then I dreamt of being maidservant to a girl my age, whom I was in love with, and I'd also fallen in love with her lover, whom her parents disapproved of, so I expressed this by helping them in their assignations. I vividly remember one point in the dream, with my back to a bedroom door, listening in bittersweet satisfaction. I think I've been looking at too many Japanese Woodblock Prints (which often have plots like this)...at any rate, I woke up and realized I was horny. What a time for it. *laugh*
Off to church.
My parents' new church is a beautiful little jewel of a church, with huge stained-glass windows. Yesterday, it was stuffed full of people I grew up with, children I used to hold as babies who are now taller than I am, people who used to hold me as a baby, all these people. I was kissed and hugged and just...people were delighted to see me. A whole church full of people who were delighted to see me and, more importantly, there to see my parents accomplish one dream and embark on another. What a feeling.
Participating in the service was surprisingly nice, actually; you all who know me know my struggles with Christianity, but because I know myself a bit better in this regard these days, I was able to act as part of the congregation without feeling my core self in danger. Reading hymns, I thought how a whole essay could be written on the mysticism of the hymns, the concepts in them, the psychological effect of singing within a congregation. (Although I did find myself thinking of "God's Fluffers". Thank you, Dr. Elias.)
You know, my parents did need me there. I'm glad I went, and I'm proud of them. I sat in the church, between one of my father's sisters and one of his best friends, and beamed at them, and was proud of them. I'm glad I got to share that experience with them. Besides, having been raised in a church isn't all bad (she says, remembering flirting with a handsome blue-eyed man over the story of the Egyptian midwives). Even so, I am not of here. To an extent, I'm not of anywhere. At least I don't have to fight anymore, I just know. Even so, singing in the congregation, listening to my father's voice sailing out over the church....
OK, the church has a debt. Yet another charity for me. Whee.
(Yes, these are basically the notes I disguised as taking notes on the sermon, transcribed.)
After church, I made my way to the mother of the adorable baby I'd spotted, and held her while twenty million people swarmed me to kiss and hug me and say what a woman I'd become. (Often I have my doubts, but anyway.) More people I'd held as babies towering over me! More people I'd known with black hair who now have grey! Ah, time. I sat with my family, three of my aunts, my uncle-by-marriage who is as cranky as ever, and four of my cousins, and laughed, and enjoyed being there.
[A brief digression---pantyhose and high heels are exhaustingly painful. My parents are indefatigable, they have far more energy than I ever will.]
So, that was my parents' installation as pastor and associate pastor of their new church. I'm proud of them, and pleasantly surprised at how much I genuinely enjoyed the experience. That said, I've had enough Christianity for a bit. Anyone wanna help me do something sinful?
So, we went home, and my parents made me lie down with them, and I promptly fell asleep. Heh. They woke me up to talk to my grandmother (who does *not* sound ninety) and my aunt, and my cousins (the tall ones), and then we all raced to the train station to catch my train....and just missed it. As in, it was pulling away as we pulled up. Heh. I was afraid that my parents would get mad at me, but they were delighted to have me over some more. So, I went home, watched TV with my dad, and slept in the bed of my childhood for one more night. I was so sleepy this morning that I let my mother dress me. *laugh*
Today was...not uneventful, but not my story to tell. It was a day. But, you know, my parents were very good to me this weekend, and that's what matters.
So, I'm going home, for a church event, I have to get my hair done. Sigh. But, I did, and headed off to the train station, and thence to my parents'. The train ride was enlivened by Ursula K. LeGuin's collection of stories, A Fisherman of the Inland Sea, which has, as well as some really nifty ideas, a foreword which is an essay on what science fiction is, and is not, that I wish I could mail to Margaret Atwood, among others. I would tell you about my favorite stories from the collection, but I love them all, really.
At Stamford (CT), the (bloody ludicrous) phones wouldn't let me call outside the 203 area code, so I had to call my cousins to ask them to call my parents. Whee. At any rate, my parents came to get me, bringing food no less, and were just good to me. I lay in bed and listened to my father singing around the house and felt tears of happiness come to my eyes.
Then I dreamt of being maidservant to a girl my age, whom I was in love with, and I'd also fallen in love with her lover, whom her parents disapproved of, so I expressed this by helping them in their assignations. I vividly remember one point in the dream, with my back to a bedroom door, listening in bittersweet satisfaction. I think I've been looking at too many Japanese Woodblock Prints (which often have plots like this)...at any rate, I woke up and realized I was horny. What a time for it. *laugh*
Off to church.
My parents' new church is a beautiful little jewel of a church, with huge stained-glass windows. Yesterday, it was stuffed full of people I grew up with, children I used to hold as babies who are now taller than I am, people who used to hold me as a baby, all these people. I was kissed and hugged and just...people were delighted to see me. A whole church full of people who were delighted to see me and, more importantly, there to see my parents accomplish one dream and embark on another. What a feeling.
Participating in the service was surprisingly nice, actually; you all who know me know my struggles with Christianity, but because I know myself a bit better in this regard these days, I was able to act as part of the congregation without feeling my core self in danger. Reading hymns, I thought how a whole essay could be written on the mysticism of the hymns, the concepts in them, the psychological effect of singing within a congregation. (Although I did find myself thinking of "God's Fluffers". Thank you, Dr. Elias.)
You know, my parents did need me there. I'm glad I went, and I'm proud of them. I sat in the church, between one of my father's sisters and one of his best friends, and beamed at them, and was proud of them. I'm glad I got to share that experience with them. Besides, having been raised in a church isn't all bad (she says, remembering flirting with a handsome blue-eyed man over the story of the Egyptian midwives). Even so, I am not of here. To an extent, I'm not of anywhere. At least I don't have to fight anymore, I just know. Even so, singing in the congregation, listening to my father's voice sailing out over the church....
OK, the church has a debt. Yet another charity for me. Whee.
(Yes, these are basically the notes I disguised as taking notes on the sermon, transcribed.)
After church, I made my way to the mother of the adorable baby I'd spotted, and held her while twenty million people swarmed me to kiss and hug me and say what a woman I'd become. (Often I have my doubts, but anyway.) More people I'd held as babies towering over me! More people I'd known with black hair who now have grey! Ah, time. I sat with my family, three of my aunts, my uncle-by-marriage who is as cranky as ever, and four of my cousins, and laughed, and enjoyed being there.
[A brief digression---pantyhose and high heels are exhaustingly painful. My parents are indefatigable, they have far more energy than I ever will.]
So, that was my parents' installation as pastor and associate pastor of their new church. I'm proud of them, and pleasantly surprised at how much I genuinely enjoyed the experience. That said, I've had enough Christianity for a bit. Anyone wanna help me do something sinful?
So, we went home, and my parents made me lie down with them, and I promptly fell asleep. Heh. They woke me up to talk to my grandmother (who does *not* sound ninety) and my aunt, and my cousins (the tall ones), and then we all raced to the train station to catch my train....and just missed it. As in, it was pulling away as we pulled up. Heh. I was afraid that my parents would get mad at me, but they were delighted to have me over some more. So, I went home, watched TV with my dad, and slept in the bed of my childhood for one more night. I was so sleepy this morning that I let my mother dress me. *laugh*
Today was...not uneventful, but not my story to tell. It was a day. But, you know, my parents were very good to me this weekend, and that's what matters.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 03:18 pm (UTC)So plenty of people.
You helped with packing, which was way more helpful, and much harder to get people to do.
*hugs*
It sounds, despite my paranoia and cynicism, that your parents may be making an honest and sincere effort to get along better with their daughter. Good for all three of you.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 03:30 pm (UTC)That took some growing on your part to arrive at the place you are now, where you can take it all in stride. From the implications and things hinted at elsewhere in your lj, it also sounds like you managed to successfully get your parents to respect you and make an effort to approach you in acceptable and mutually pleasant (? lacking the word I really wanted here, it'll have to do, it's late) manner.
Well done. For helping wb pack instead of move, for going and thus managing to give something important to both people who wanted your presence and assistance and most of all for staying yourself throughout. *Bhigghugs* :)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 06:17 pm (UTC)Horray for you!
Date: 2003-06-09 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 09:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject