Respecting Allergies

[browngirl]

I had lots of stuff to write about today, but then someone started fomenting revolution and it all went nuts from there.

Anyway.

I was commenting in a friend's journal about the tribulations people with allergies face, and decided to expand my little rant here, in my journal.

classics_cat had said in papersky's journal, "I've found over the years (I'm allergic to some weird stuff and many "staples") that people tend to hear you say 'allergy' and think 'Oh, she just doesn't like it. If she doesn't know it's in there, she'll be fine.'"

As I said to her, that attitude enrages me. I cook because I like to please my friends and to nourish and provide for people; why on earth would I poison them to do that?! "If she doesn't know it's in there she'll be fine"?!?!? Even IF that were true, people's wishes should be respected. How dare people decide they know better than someone what that person should and wants to eat.

However, in many cases, it's not true, and the stakes can go even higher, from respect to health and survival. Don't those folks saying that know anyone with an allergy? I'm not very old, and I've known many people in my life with allergies ranging from annoying to deadly. It is the consumer's responsibility to tell me their allergy/ies so I don't dose them with something they can't eat, but it's *my* responsibility to not endanger someone's health for my own convenience or vanity. I would never forgive myself if I fed someone something that killed them, nor should I.

Yes, I know it can be a pain when cooking for a large group. I used to have a job catering; I have been cooking for large groups (churches, meetings, etc) since my late teens, and I think that when I do so, trying my hardest to ensure that everyone is able to eat something is part of my job.

This isssue is, among other reasons, why I resent the practice of keeping a recipe secret when there's no economic or other practical reason for it. No, Chez Fou doesn't need to give out their recipe for their signature dish, though they certainly need to tell people if a particular ingredient is present if people ask, but I think it's silly at best for Matilda Wilkins to not let people know that her delicious peanut noodles contain crushed dried shrimp, even if someone with allergies to invertebrate seafood asks. (Well, if someone asks, it's far worse than just silly to not tell them.)

I think this applies to any reason someone won't eat something, be it allergies, religion, diet, or simple dislike. Some people will sneak an ingredient into someone else's food to prove a point (once I read a post to alt.sex.something, back when there were posts in alt.sex.*, where a guy put his semen into the salad dressing because his girlfriend wouldn't swallow. SHEESH). I think that's reprehensible. Sometimes one is provoked to such thoughts---whenever WD makes faces at me for eating stinky fish or stinky cheese I'm tempted to see if I can disguise it well enough to feed it to him---but it would be a violation of trust to actually do such a thing.

People care about what they eat, after all. Feeding people is a privilege, a chance to be trusted. It's wrong to betray that by feeding them something bad for them.

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Yup... on all points.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

agreed on all points.

However, I've met a few people over the years who claimed to have allergies, who really didn't. They often used their allergies as a way to make others do what they want (e.g. not go to a certain type of restaurant). That's just plain manipulative, and annoying, too.

[snippy]

Yes, it's manipulative--but why are their friends not accomodating their desire not to go to a particular restaurant? Or why don't they think just saying they don't want to go there would be enough?

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

yeah. what part of "This will make me sick/kill me/violate my religious or ethical principles if I eat it" do people not understand? You certainly wouldn't prepare a dish containing stealth pork for a Jew or a Muslim. You wouldn't whip up a sauce containing tons of sugar for a diabetic.

Why do people feel food allergies (or simple dislikes, for that matter) are anything any different?

[pickledginger.livejournal.com]

Um, *I* certainly wouldn't, but then, I'm weird. There are plenty of people out there who would.

with you in that

[andreas_schaefer]

As I said to her, that attitude enrages me.
I am lucky in so far as I am not strongly allergic to anything. ( I do have several weak allergies frex the wrong kind of curry mix will make me feel bad the whole next day). Slipping a known allergen
into someones food should be treated as attempted poisoning.
Yes, and if they don't apologize very fast and materially those attempted poisoners should be sued.

(which is why a lot of food manufacturers do have that long list on the package - and also why one finds remarks like can contain peanuts on a jar of peanutbutter <grin> )



Footnote: No I don't know what it is in curry that I am allergic against - I suspect cumin since that has the high potential and is in nearly every mix as well. ( but it might equally be one of the 'hot' components I am reacting to.)

Re: with you in that

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

It took me a long time to figure out why I hated yellow curries, but not red or green curries. It's also the reason I hated cheap (but not expensive) mustard, though for a long time I thought I just hated all mustard on sandwiches, but was okay with it ni dressings and sauces. That's because when people tried to feed me mustard on sandwiches it was usually cheap mustard like Frenches rather than the seed/dijon/coleman's mustard in sauces and dressings.

It turns out I have a mild allergy to Tumeric which goes along with my allergy to Wasabi. Neither will kill me. Or at least neither will kill me in the ammounts they're usually fuond in food. Both will make me feel nauseated and possibly throw up. Apparently Frenches and other cheaper mustards use tumeric to color the mustard. I've also found several kinds of pickles that I previously couldn't figure out why I didn't like... until I found out that they use tumeric to preserve color.

Now tumeric may or may not be your particular problem with yellow curries, but it's one of the things that might very well be a problem.

[gundo.livejournal.com]

*sigh* my entire family suffers from allergies of one sort or another. Fortunately they are usually fairly generic and common, but it's amazing how many people will say "why don't you just pick <food-in-question%gt out." That just doesn't work!

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, yes.

Amd of course there are those cooks who fool vegetarians into eating meat.

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

My only quibble with people who say "I'm allergic to XYZ" is that they are often not specifically allergic. They may have sensitivities that result in unpleasant and/or life-threatening reactions, but those aren't all allergies. An allergy is a specific type of histamine response. Usually, if someone gets vomiting, diarrhea, etc. from a food, they have a sensitivity, not an allergy.

Not that it makes any difference when it comes to respecting their wishes about not eating the food in question.

Yours for a more pedantic Livejournal,
--kathryn

[cellio]

I completely agree. People who try to slip objectionable ingredients into food are anything from childish to malicious. What are they thinking?!

Understood

[tendyl.livejournal.com]

I agree on all points. Another note to add is people who don't understand the difference between an allergy to dairy products and lactose intolerance. I'm allergic to milk and diary products. They cause me much sniffles and sneezing. But I can have them...especially when a mutual friend of ours offers to cook alfredo (drool). But lactose free dairy products don't alleviate the problem, because I'm allergic to the actual dairy protien. Anti-histimines help, but they don't fix everything...

There, I'm added my bit of a rant. Hmm, seems we need to educate peoples about allergies as a health problem.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

I'm allergic to cats to a large degree, dogs to a lesser one. Few things piss me off more than someone who says, "Allergies are all in your head."
Actually, my friend's mother who told me to pray until they went away pissed me off more, but anyway . . .

When it comes to food, trace amounts can kill. While I can understand a certain covetousness regarding the actual proportions of what goes in a recipe, there is not good reason to withhold ingredients, especially when asked. A good cook will find a way around something--white pepper for black pepper is an example that comes to mind when I was last confronted with that issue.

Dislikes, IMO, are treated with even less respect. I don't like bananas, so I'll use 'em as an example. The smell when someone peels one makes my stomach turn over. So no, I will probably not like (generic you) your homemade banana bread, I don't care how many people do. Comments like, "Well, you've never tried mine," or "Even folks who don't like bananas like my banana bread.

You've never tried....

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

My wife moonstaff and I are Jack Sprat and his wife, to a degree. No, I am not allergic to any food (though they say that people with latex allergies have a strong aversion to bananas that is yet unexplained). People really do assume she's just a picky eater. In truth, it's an easy thing to believe because of her general personality. However, if you've ever watched her double over with cramps because she's inadvertently eaten something she shouldn't and in the midst of the pain is trying to puzzle out WHY she's in such pain, it's pretty obvious that it's not pickiness. We had this happen recently when she had a low carb shake that we did not know was made mostly of egg whites. I was on the point of insisting we go to the hospital.

I tend not to like cooked vegetables (though have always been a big salad fan). In fact, I taught myself to eat them as an example to my children (With a family of six, it's a pain in the ass to cook two separate meals every night, so we don't). I had to control a gag reflex at first, but got over it and now actually rather like steamed broccoli. Overcooked summer squash is pretty gross to me, too, but I'll eat it if the kids are sitting at the table -- setting the example again.

However, I too, find the "Well you've never tried my (dish of your choice)", thing really irritating!

No, I'll probably never like brussel spouts. Don't TRY to give me an avocado! I don't care how damned good you think your guacomole is, it's snot to me, okay? I see no real reason in the world to learn to like it. Bananas, either. (I share your distaste for bananas).

I live with a chef. I found out something. A REAL cook -- one who knows what he's doing, is under no illusions that just because he made it, it means you'll like a food you ordinarily despise.

OAS

[moonstaff.livejournal.com]

This person that you are speaking of may have a condition called Oral Allergy Syndrome. I have it myself to quite an extreme. Only, I didn't know what I had until about a year ago. Until that time, I was called a picky eater, or I was told that it was all in my head, or I was accused of faking it to get out of eating my fruits and veggies (which I have always LOVED, btw!). Mostly, I just got very strange looks when I explained that I was allergic to almost ALL raw fruits and vegetables and nuts, but that I could eat them cooked. On top of this, I have an egg allergy. Between the two, it makes parties quite difficult.

Just a little aside on the sensitivity/allergy thing. If the person has sudden stomach cramps and extreme diarrhea this actually IS a histamine response. The intestines are bombarded with a sudden flood of water and salt when the immune system "panics" at the food in question.

Oral Allergy syndrome is uncommon, and it is not always so general as mine. The breakdown of the problem is that people's bodies with pollen allergies will sometimes confuse food proteins for pollen proteins and react in a similar manner. This usually appears as itching or burning in the mouth and throat. Sometimes it will go so far as swelling of the inside of the mouth and throat. The last time I ate a raw apple my throat constricted and I almost could not breath. No more apples for me! This is a very real condition and very inconvenient for those of us that suffer with it. Imagine looking at a pint of red, ripe, freshly picked June Strawberries glistening with morning dew, their sweet scent drifting into your nostrils and knowing that you can not touch a single one. I have dreams of sinking my teeth into a juicy peach and letting the juice dribble down my chin as its pungent flavor fills my mouth. I am only able to imagine the crisp, sweet, snap and crunch of a fresh fall apple. Ask your friend to imagine what it would be like to have their favorite foods become hostile invaders in their body. It's no picnic... literally.

[aiglet.livejournal.com]

My favorite is the "stealth allergies" like mine. I'm allergic to rye (or rather, to some preservative that they use on rye and that then gets into other things), so I avoid all sorts of "multi-grain" anything (sometimes I feel like the only non-celiac in the world that's allergic to Cheerios). I get a lot of "oh, you're just making that up so you have an excuse to eat unhealthily."

Of course, people who have *seen* this reaction (few and far between, because rye is a fairly easy thing to avoid) don't say that anymore.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

I can somewhat understand/sympathize with people who just don't get it. If you can eat wheat, rye, cow, dairy, peanuts and what have you and suffer no ill effects, then it simply doesn't compute that others can not. After all, we're all the same species. All cows eat grass, right?

But then, I also react naseuous/vomitously to ham and smoked turkey (likely for the same curing ingrediant) and have had to explain adneaseum that pork, bacon, and oven roasted turkey are not a problem. And no, I still can't have certain antibiotics, thank you very much. And no, I won't be having any of that ham; no I don't really care that it's HoneyBaked.

So, while I still don't understand, for instance, allergies to wheat, I at least understand puking one's guts up or turning pretty shades of speckled red and white, and respect the other person's right to not have those effects and worse visited upon them, regardless of whehter or not it is all in their own head. -H...

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I can somewhat understand/sympathize with people who just don't get it. If you can eat wheat, rye, cow, dairy, peanuts and what have you and suffer no ill effects, then it simply doesn't compute that others can not. After all, we're all the same species. All cows eat grass, right?

Actually, you've hit on a related pet peeve of mine. :D It *doesn't* make sense to me to expect that everyone else has the same dietary needs and limits as I do, anymore than that everyone likes the clothing I like or the climate I like or the physical activity level I like. People are different. I don't know if all cows eat grass, but I do know that different cats thrive on different cat foods.

Besides....as you said, we should "respect the other person's right to not have those effects and worse visited upon them, regardless of whehter or not it is all in their own head." Although I wouldn't even put it as "all in their own head", because that seems a dismissive way to think of it, but rather, whether it's a physical effect or a lifestyle choice (or, well, even someone being poky. I've never seen a poky person cured by being forced to do or tricked into doing whatever-it-is they don't want to).

On wheat allergies...if you feel like a research project, wheat allergies are fascinating, if scary. From what I know, celiac disease isn't the only kind. It's really interesting, thinking of what people I know can eat and must avoid.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Understood and agreed. I draw those comments largely from the way I've heard other people think. "I can eat it, so clearly you can too." "Your allergy is all in your head." "You just don't like it; you'd like it if you'd just try it. Btw, I put some in that dish you just ate." -H...

[figmo.livejournal.com]

I just had a nightmare last night that my mother, as she's often wont to do despite being a chef, tried to sneak mushrooms on me and succeeded -- and I had to be hauled off to the emergency room.

Food allergies are very real. They suck. I wish I didn't have them. I'm curious as to what truffles taste like, but if I find out, it's a trip to the ER all over again.

When I visit my-mother-the-chef, I have to worry about her trying to sneak them into my food. One time she wanted me to taste some broccoli rabe salad she'd made with mushroom soy sauce; another time she kept vehemently insisting I should eat her shiitake-laden white lasagne, telling me I wasn't allergic to shiitake mushrooms, "only the regular kind."

Alas, chefs are not always trained in dealing with food allergies. Schools are getting better about it, but my mother clearly never had such training. (Yes, I've also seen her sneaking "traif" foods on relatives who keep kosher...sigh.)

[pickledginger.livejournal.com]

It's not just wrong, it's quite possibly manslaughter, and I wish it would be prosecuted as such.