Cingulum Album? (a story idea)
Aug. 21st, 2013 01:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
browngirl(With the help of an online Latin dictionary.) So I was daydreaming about White Collar recently, and thought of this story idea. I babbled all about it to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
azephirin, including writing a page of notes, only to lose them. So let me write this down before I forget it. [TW: slavery, mentions of cruelty and violence]
A large provincial Imperial Roman city is about to receive a new governor. The city is in, say, the Western Empire, and the governor was a famous general in the Eastern, so no one knows what he looks like. Fortunately, his son shows up right after the messenger, to set up his father’s new residence and administration.
However, Petrus Somethingus, a veteran now involved with the city’s garrison, did fight under that general, long ago. And this alleged son looks nothing like the general or his wife. Petrus finds the charming young man about to leave and confronts him; he says he’s an acknowledged bastard; Petrus replies, “Actually, General So-n-so’s tastes run to men rather than women, so he has no bastards.” Then he arrests the impostor.
… Whose name, as you’ve doubtless guessed, is Neal. I haven’t figured out the Roman versions of the names for most of the other characters, so we’ll just use canon names for now. Anyway, Peter visits Neal several times in the dungeon where he’s being held, trying to find out whom he’s working for and why, but also utterly charmed. His wife Ersabet teases him about this.
When the governor arrives and they bring Neal before him he laughs heartily, promises Peter a reward, and says it’s a shame to execute someone so smart and pretty, but execution it is. Peter asks for Neal as a slave as his reward, rather than wasting his intelligent mind. Governor So and So makes all the snarky remarks we would, and gives Neal over.
[Adaptation problem #1: What is the equivalent of the tracker? I think Neal offers to be branded and Peter can’t bring himself to deface such a work of art.]
Peter introduces Neal to his wife, and also to his lieutenants Jones, Diana, Cruz, and Pyrrus Tunica. They investigate many things, including bread fraud, and Neal and Peter become unexpectedly devoted to each other.
[Adaptation problem #2: Who/where is Mozzie? Maybe he’s a friend who tries to get Neal to run off and Neal refuses, at first for reason-yet-to-be-determined and later for love. Except that Roman Peter would likely deal rather more brutally with Mozzie than Canon Peter would/can. Maybe Mozz is a secret, at least at first.]
A neighboring well to do family acquires a beautiful, sticky-fingered slave named Alexandria after the city; she and Neal are friends, and when her owners grow exasperated with her latest escape attempt and decided to have her branded, Neal asked Peter to save her from branding by buying her, then gave her his escape plan (which wuld only work once) and set her free. When Peter questions this (he thought Neal wanted her and also she cost a lot of money), Neal kneels and explains that “my mistress is wife enough for me, and you, my master, are husband enough.” [What? Are you surprised I went there?]
Eventually Peter and Elizabeth decide to have Neal father her children, and we get backstory. Neal was the son of a disgraced legionnaire who was training to be a soldier when his betrothed, Yekat/Katrin (I haven’t decided which version I like better) was abducted from their village. The soldier-trainees went after the abductors, evaded their ambush due to Neal’s cleverness, and killed them, but not before Kate had killed herself rather than be enslaved. Neal quits soldiery, swears off killing, and becomes a con man/traveling artist/charmer and grafter.
[Adaptation Problem #3: I just shoved poor Kate in the pickle barrel or however we analogize a Roman ‘fridge. I would like to do better than, or at least as well as, canon, but I can’t think of anything for her besides McGuffinhood. Any ideas?]
Meanwhile,Peter’s backstory includes having the mumps (which can cause infertility in men) and Elizabeth’s backstory includes having been married as a teenager and losing both husband and baby to a fever. After that she was fine with marrying an infertile man, but years later, they figure they’ll take the chance. [This is not a disparaging comment about canon – I just figure that Romans might take the chance for children in this situation, plus it’s an excuse to write a scene or three of them trying for that conception.]
So that’s all I have at the moment/can remember from my notes. If I think of more I’ll put it here.
azephirin, including writing a page of notes, only to lose them. So let me write this down before I forget it. [TW: slavery, mentions of cruelty and violence] A large provincial Imperial Roman city is about to receive a new governor. The city is in, say, the Western Empire, and the governor was a famous general in the Eastern, so no one knows what he looks like. Fortunately, his son shows up right after the messenger, to set up his father’s new residence and administration.
However, Petrus Somethingus, a veteran now involved with the city’s garrison, did fight under that general, long ago. And this alleged son looks nothing like the general or his wife. Petrus finds the charming young man about to leave and confronts him; he says he’s an acknowledged bastard; Petrus replies, “Actually, General So-n-so’s tastes run to men rather than women, so he has no bastards.” Then he arrests the impostor.
… Whose name, as you’ve doubtless guessed, is Neal. I haven’t figured out the Roman versions of the names for most of the other characters, so we’ll just use canon names for now. Anyway, Peter visits Neal several times in the dungeon where he’s being held, trying to find out whom he’s working for and why, but also utterly charmed. His wife Ersabet teases him about this.
When the governor arrives and they bring Neal before him he laughs heartily, promises Peter a reward, and says it’s a shame to execute someone so smart and pretty, but execution it is. Peter asks for Neal as a slave as his reward, rather than wasting his intelligent mind. Governor So and So makes all the snarky remarks we would, and gives Neal over.
[Adaptation problem #1: What is the equivalent of the tracker? I think Neal offers to be branded and Peter can’t bring himself to deface such a work of art.]
Peter introduces Neal to his wife, and also to his lieutenants Jones, Diana, Cruz, and Pyrrus Tunica. They investigate many things, including bread fraud, and Neal and Peter become unexpectedly devoted to each other.
[Adaptation problem #2: Who/where is Mozzie? Maybe he’s a friend who tries to get Neal to run off and Neal refuses, at first for reason-yet-to-be-determined and later for love. Except that Roman Peter would likely deal rather more brutally with Mozzie than Canon Peter would/can. Maybe Mozz is a secret, at least at first.]
A neighboring well to do family acquires a beautiful, sticky-fingered slave named Alexandria after the city; she and Neal are friends, and when her owners grow exasperated with her latest escape attempt and decided to have her branded, Neal asked Peter to save her from branding by buying her, then gave her his escape plan (which wuld only work once) and set her free. When Peter questions this (he thought Neal wanted her and also she cost a lot of money), Neal kneels and explains that “my mistress is wife enough for me, and you, my master, are husband enough.” [What? Are you surprised I went there?]
Eventually Peter and Elizabeth decide to have Neal father her children, and we get backstory. Neal was the son of a disgraced legionnaire who was training to be a soldier when his betrothed, Yekat/Katrin (I haven’t decided which version I like better) was abducted from their village. The soldier-trainees went after the abductors, evaded their ambush due to Neal’s cleverness, and killed them, but not before Kate had killed herself rather than be enslaved. Neal quits soldiery, swears off killing, and becomes a con man/traveling artist/charmer and grafter.
[Adaptation Problem #3: I just shoved poor Kate in the pickle barrel or however we analogize a Roman ‘fridge. I would like to do better than, or at least as well as, canon, but I can’t think of anything for her besides McGuffinhood. Any ideas?]
Meanwhile,
So that’s all I have at the moment/can remember from my notes. If I think of more I’ll put it here.
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no subject
Date: 2013-08-21 06:38 pm (UTC)To answer your questions:
1 - The equivalent of the tracker would be the slave collar welded on with an owner's tag. Either around Neal's neck or foot.
2 - While "Neal" means "Great King" in the Gaelic languages, it's also a diminutive of Cornelius, which is a Roman family name - and yes, related to the Latin "Cornus" meaning "horn." Being a word geek, that makes me snerk because there is an old euphamism about cuckolding - "to put the horns on".
3 - Please don't use mumps as a cause of infertility. Years ago, when first getting into writing WC fanfic, I had a story idea about Peter and El's infertility and researched mumps. Mumps makes men infertile because it causes massive swelling in the testicular glands, resulting in pronounced atrophy. Basically, killing off a man's balls. In order to cause infertility, they would be shrivelled and almost vestigal. The man would have highly impaired sexual capacity and because the testes also produce testosterone, would lack secondary sex characteristics like beard and muscular development. A quote from the Wikipedia entry on Mumps: "Mumps viral infections in adolescent and adult males carry an up to 30% risk that the testes may become infected (orchitis or epididymitis), which can be quite painful; about half of these infections result in testicular atrophy, and in rare cases sterility can follow." Given the importance of the testicles in Roman life (the word "testify" comes from "testes" - in ancient Roman, it was customary to take hold of a man's testicles when he was swearing an oath), Peter's vestigal balls might even preclude him from the full rights of citizenship.
I hope you don't mind my input on the last bit. You're one of the writers I have always admired and it would be a sad thing to base such a wonderful fic on a faulty premise.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 03:33 am (UTC)PS I will have to read up on welding.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-21 08:02 pm (UTC)Couple link problems:
• I babbled all about it to [Bad username: âazephirinâ]
• bread fraud is 404, because the URL is just "””"
no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 03:37 am (UTC)Whte Collar is an adorable little show, but I admit, much of my interest is in the incredibly gorgeous cast.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-21 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 12:57 am (UTC)1. Trauma, plain and simple. Perhaps an injury from his soldier days which caused damage to a few delicate areas? Nothing that would affect functioning of the testicles themselves, just ruptured ducts that healed closed or are blocked by scar tissue. Today, not such a problem. Back then? Good luck.
2. Heavy metal poisoning. Romans used lead in their water systems, maybe Peter's sperm is extra-sensitive.
no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 05:19 am (UTC)“ Check out Fabulous Feasts: Medieval Cookery and Ceremony by Madeleine Pelner Cosman for a whole chapter on food laws as they existed in about 1400. Plus the color plates are fantastic. ”
Big grin. And then I commented:
“ I know what you mean about Fabulous Feasts, and I agree completely. Dr. Cosman was my professor for Old English at CCNY. She was an amazing woman and an amazing scholar. ”
no subject
Date: 2013-08-22 11:37 am (UTC)