browngirl

I've been thinking about this topic for awhile, and I decided that I should make a post that wasn't friends-locked, so that my position was clear. Receiving my

yuletide assignment made me incredibly excited and happy, but this post isn't about that. It's about what I need to do before I can get to work on my

yuletide story.

I don't know if this year has been particularly difficult for this corner of fandom, but it's seemed to me that there have been many debates, including but not limited to those over incest and underage sexuality in fanfiction, over the depiction of characters of color and the inclusion of fans of color, and over the intersection and interrelationships of religion and fandom. Right now, to me at least, my fannish experience feels a little fractured (this is doubtless partially because I currently lack a primary fandom, but be that as it may). I don't know what the answer is, how I can help myself and others rediscover that pleasant feeling of being unified by squee.

But I do know that the problem is not necessarily caused by those pointing it out, that dismissing people as being troublemakers for raising questions will not help them be welcome, that fandom isn't a zero-sum game where people can either uncritically participate or leave with nothing in between, that fans don't have to and shouldn't be asked to not mention the people they are. That the answer isn't for people to sit down and shut up.

I'm not saying this to change minds, actually; if the words of others who are far more eloquent than I haven't changed those minds, I don't think I will. I'm saying this to the people who may benefit by hearing it, who should know that this fellow fan doesn't have to share their demographic to agree that they have as much right to participate as anyone else. I'm saying this because I don't want my silence to be taken as agreement with those who would deride other fans for their religion, just as it was heartening to see my fellow fans say that fans of color like me had a rightful place in fandom.

What does all this have to do with

yuletide (besides the discussion I'm purposely not linking to)? I love

yuletide. I love the idea of it, of writing a story specifically to please another fan, and I love the practice of it, how well it works, how many of us are involved. And I want to feel that my participation is as welcome as anyone else's, no matter our 'real-life' identities, that fandom is a place where any well-meaning fan can feel that comfortableness. Swallowing a complaint, not mentioning one's race or religion or sexual identity, and so on are not the ways to achieve that comfortable state of belonging, and, having seen them recommended (if not ordered), I wanted to say that I think they are neither necessary nor palatable. Fandom doesn't need to be homogenous, and shouldn't be asked to be so, in order to be united.

This is too long already, but I felt I should say it publically. I think fandom is best as a place where anyone with good intentions can participate, and not by having to deny other parts of who they are. It is diminished when fans are made to feel unwelcome based on who they are.

And having said that, I am going to get back to work on my story for

yuletide, and join a thousand (!) other fans in crazed anticipation.