Fruitcake Followup

[browngirl]

*blushes at you all* Um, thank you. I will reply to comments soon, but I had to at least say that. And, uh, at the risk of extreme cheesiness, one other thing.

The other day on Between the Lions we saw a heartbreaking story where a camel wanted to be a ballerina, and the other camels told her "you're just a camel, give it up" so she vowed to dance for herself. I'm not that brave camel. If I could just write for myself, draw for myself, cook for myself... I do all of these for myself, but I get a charge out of making things that others appreciate, that I can give away. I feel like I'm sending pieces of myself out into the world, like I'm reaching out and suffusing the world beneficially, even in a tiny way.

I like that feeling, possibly too much (the only reason I can write this at work is because my coworkers can't tell I'm blushing). It's not the only reason I create -- I really do like making things for people for *their* sakes as well, for your sakes, but also for mine and not in a 'purchasing friendship' kind of way. Well, okay, not just.

Anyway, I had more to say but I have parents using my desk as their desk and otherwise leaning over me. So I will let this go and hope it doesn't sound too pretentious.

Edited because HALF OF THE DAMN POST WAS MISSING DUE TO ONE MISSING CHARACTER OMG I FUCKING HATE HTML SOMETIMES for clarity.

Comments

[pagawne.livejournal.com]

Ny, I have a few recipes you might be interested in. Not really sweets, but a really good chicken soup that is a bit different, interesting vegetarian soup (or not), and my mother's pecan pie.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for thinking of me! I'm sure I'll love them.

[maya-a.livejournal.com]

Tangentially, isn't BtL wonderful?

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

It really, really is.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

I totally get this. And it makes me smile in your direction.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*beams at you in return*

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I totally get that, and it's a perfectly fine reason to do things! {{{you}}} I also think that your awareness of it will protect you from the possible "too much." It's a concrete thing that makes you happy by making other people happy -- there's no bad!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

If anyone I know would get this, it would be you, o Yuletide co-mod. *beams and hugs you warmly*

[awfief.livejournal.com]

As someone whose main art form is volunteering...I get it. :)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*grins at you*

[bearfairie.livejournal.com]

Hm. I'm having a thought I'm struggling to articulate. So pardon me if I'm clumsy with my words. I believe all of us exist at multiple levels simultaneously... we're individuals. we're parts of families, friendship networks, neighborhoods, communities, etc. When we're doing something for our community that we are also a part of, I think maybe we *are* the brave camel somewhat. I'm an individual and I could choose to do something for myself. But I'm also a cell or an organ in a larger, collective body called my group of friends, or my family, or my office, or whatever. I think one of the disconnects about the US is that we focus so much on the individual as being the most important aspect of self-hood. This isn't true in all cultures, and it's not universally true here in the US either. Many of us were raised with, or have chosen or developed, more of a collective sense of self-hood. Often the US individuality-uber-alles concept says that being collective-minded is pathological, too selfless, the sign of low self esteem and something to be ashamed of. B/c of course the (white, middle class, mainstream, etc.) US/western culture is always right and this way is always the right way. And sometimes there is a piece about low self esteem that's worth looking at, of course. But sometimes, maybe there's nothing wrong with us when we see ourselves as part of a network, and when we lean on the collective for strength and belonging, when we want to serve and take care of our communities as a way to take care of ourselves. Because we recognize that community care IS self care, b/c we can situate ourselves within the collective self.

That's a long way of saying that just maybe, sometimes, possibly, you are the brave camel when you dance for other people.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

So, I've reread this about ten times over this past week, because it just... makes me feel so happy, and interconnected, and non-wasteful, and worthwhile.

Thank you. A lot.

*hugs you tightly*

[bearfairie.livejournal.com]

you're welcome a lot. I actually am a bit embarrassed to admit I reread what I wrote to you once or twice myself b/c I realized I needed reminding.

*hugs back tightly*

[lomedet.livejournal.com]

You send beautiful things out into the world. Enjoying that? Totally okay.

*many hugs*

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*beams* Okay. :)

*hugs you back*

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Edited because HALF OF THE DAMN POST WAS MISSING DUE TO ONE MISSING CHARACTER OMG I FUCKING HATE HTML SOMETIMES for clarity.

I'm guessing you were using HTML to italicize the title and left out an angle bracket. Is there a reason you don't use their Rich Text editor?

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I'm quirky.

[sage]

*snugs you much*

I checked mail yesterday and found a postcard! <3 <3 <3

Thank you, lovely! It was a gorgeous surprise.

*hugs more*

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

You are totally, totally welcome. *huggles you*