Literally Nothing We Can Do
May. 6th, 2008 08:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
browngirlThe warning I want to put on this is "don't read this if you have daughters, because it will make you want to hide them from the world," but that warning is rather too emotional to be useful. So: this is about sexual assault and is potentially triggering, and considerably distressing.
To attempt a coherent summary: Melissa Bruen, a senior at the University of Connecticut, was walking in a public place on campus when a man grabbed her and sexually assaulted her. She fought him off as several bystanders gathered. They stopped her from hitting her assailant, restrained her, and as one man said, "You think that was assault?", pulled her top off, and groped her breasts, others cheered and shoved her around until she fought her way free.
Campus police say that the number of people who travel through that area makes it unlikely to impossible that they will ever arrest any of the men involved.
Melissa Bruen's article.
An article about the reaction to her article, which describes how respondents have called Ms. Bruen a liar and fame-seeker and criticized her appearance.
The Shakesville article which I first read about the case, which among other ideas discusses how this is not even the first sexual assault Ms. Bruen has suffered, and how that is sadly not unusual.
And now, a little of my personal reaction:
This young woman used her knowledge of self defence to fight off her attacker. The men passing by then decided to stop her and to punish her for doing so, including perpetrating another sexual assault upon her. Then when she made her story public she's been called a liar (and of course criticized for her appearance, and discussing how women's appearances are ALWAYS used to determine our worth is a whole other rant.) What does that say about the usefulness of stressing self-defence for women as the solution to the problem of sexual assault? And yet people resist as strenuously as they can the idea that the men who assault should ever change their behavior, that it is men's responsibility and opportunity to refrain from sexual assault.
As a woman, this fills me with despair. There are stories in my life and stories I have been told that Ms. Bruen's report reminds me of, not in magnitude but in kind. Recently a man I like and respect suggested that the solution to sexually harassing behavior at conventions is for women to stay home. Ms. Bruen beat her first attacker, so the surrounding men decided to punish her for it. It seems to me that no matter what we do being sexually assaulted is our fault, and if we stand up for ourselves people will just shove us back down.
Progress is not unidirectional, and there are times I worry that the status of women in the US is not improving. Such as now.
To attempt a coherent summary: Melissa Bruen, a senior at the University of Connecticut, was walking in a public place on campus when a man grabbed her and sexually assaulted her. She fought him off as several bystanders gathered. They stopped her from hitting her assailant, restrained her, and as one man said, "You think that was assault?", pulled her top off, and groped her breasts, others cheered and shoved her around until she fought her way free.
Campus police say that the number of people who travel through that area makes it unlikely to impossible that they will ever arrest any of the men involved.
Melissa Bruen's article.
An article about the reaction to her article, which describes how respondents have called Ms. Bruen a liar and fame-seeker and criticized her appearance.
The Shakesville article which I first read about the case, which among other ideas discusses how this is not even the first sexual assault Ms. Bruen has suffered, and how that is sadly not unusual.
And now, a little of my personal reaction:
This young woman used her knowledge of self defence to fight off her attacker. The men passing by then decided to stop her and to punish her for doing so, including perpetrating another sexual assault upon her. Then when she made her story public she's been called a liar (and of course criticized for her appearance, and discussing how women's appearances are ALWAYS used to determine our worth is a whole other rant.) What does that say about the usefulness of stressing self-defence for women as the solution to the problem of sexual assault? And yet people resist as strenuously as they can the idea that the men who assault should ever change their behavior, that it is men's responsibility and opportunity to refrain from sexual assault.
As a woman, this fills me with despair. There are stories in my life and stories I have been told that Ms. Bruen's report reminds me of, not in magnitude but in kind. Recently a man I like and respect suggested that the solution to sexually harassing behavior at conventions is for women to stay home. Ms. Bruen beat her first attacker, so the surrounding men decided to punish her for it. It seems to me that no matter what we do being sexually assaulted is our fault, and if we stand up for ourselves people will just shove us back down.
Progress is not unidirectional, and there are times I worry that the status of women in the US is not improving. Such as now.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-07 11:53 am (UTC)I've seen crowds do similar things -- ie, "B started it, he took my wallet" and the crowd says "oh yeah? let's show you what taking your wallet really feels like" and proceed to distribute cash, credit cards, read off A's address, etc., because A was beating B so badly that everyone cast B as the victim.
That when they come across a woman fighting a man in an area THE ENTIRE CAMPUS has nicknamed "the rape trail" to jump to the conclusion SHE is attacking HIM...
yeah, duh, because that's what they see! it's a visceral reaction. Have you never seen a fight before?
no subject
Date: 2008-05-07 04:52 pm (UTC)For what it's worth, I've only seen violence a couple of times, and then pretty much everyone tried to get as far away as possible as soon as possible, though it was clear that someone then called the police.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-07 04:56 pm (UTC)The wallet thing really happened, and the point was to humiliate the person who was beating the snot out of someone else. I guess when someone is obviously outmatched it's hard for folks to consider who the first victim is.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-07 05:08 pm (UTC)At the risk of adding to the bad folk-image of dangerous NYC, the major incident I saw was on the subway, and it was incredibly one-sided: the guy doing the beating had no reason at all (one of those "stop shoving me" things that usually just goes away), jammed the other guy's head under an arm-rest so he was helpless, and just kept punching. I was the only person who even stayed in the same subway car, but as I said, police were called. All told, that's probably the sanest approach, in part because the police are trained to detain all involved and try to figure out responsibility later.
This just proves how various people can be, for good and ill. Years ago I concluded that no one can really know how she or he would react to violence until it happens, and this just reinforces that.