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Mini-DVD Meme Rides Again
I was going to stay up till midnight so this would be posted tomorrow, but I'm groggy. Anyway, this is going around, and I thought, why not?
Pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, from anything I've written in this journal, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Like Petra over at Dreamwidth I reserve the right to lie egregiously about anything over 3 years old. My stories are listed by character (and sometimes topic) here: http://rubynye.livejournal.com/tag/
Pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, from anything I've written in this journal, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Like Petra over at Dreamwidth I reserve the right to lie egregiously about anything over 3 years old. My stories are listed by character (and sometimes topic) here: http://rubynye.livejournal.com/tag/
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There's no time for triumph, though, not when the crowd wavers between shock and revenge and her only friend here is sprawled on the floor bleeding. "Jim," she says into his ear as she crouches, and drags his arm, limp and heavy, across her shoulders. He slumps against her, murmuring a dazed tumble of vowels, and she can't do this, she can't carry him by herself, panic jerks in her chest. "Jim, get up," as she pushes up with her thighs, wobbling under his weight, knowing if she falls to her knees they'll be finished.
She could escape without him, she thinks briefly. He came to her aid, she remembers just as quickly.
"I'm not leaving you here, get up!" she pants.
Jim grunts, "Hunh," pawing at the floor, groping at the side of the bar, and shoves himself up enough for Gaila to heave them to their feet. She gasps under his weight against her, her fingers tighten around his wrist and on his ribs but he's still sliding in her grip.
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There's no time for triumph, though, not when the crowd wavers between shock and revenge and her only friend here is sprawled on the floor bleeding.
Gaila took down that asshole! I knew she could! And now she needs to get herself and Jim out of there. Writing the fight chorography for this was difficult and fun.
"Jim," she says into his ear as she crouches, and drags his arm, limp and heavy, across her shoulders. He slumps against her, murmuring a dazed tumble of vowels, and she can't do this, she can't carry him by herself, panic jerks in her chest. "Jim, get up," as she pushes up with her thighs, wobbling under his weight, knowing if she falls to her knees they'll be finished.
Incidentally, she's already speaking in Orion here, without realizing it. Aside of that, I just drew on helping people bigger than me to walk while drunk or sick.
She could escape without him, she thinks briefly. He came to her aid, she remembers just as quickly.
I thought it made sense for Gaila to have a few trust issues. She has had good friends, but generally puts herself first. She was honestly surprised when Jim came in swinging to help her with the three thugs; she ... wouldn't have blamed him if he'd chosen to stay out of it.
"I'm not leaving you here, get up!" she pants.
I like having characters talk to both themselves and someone else. It's something I see people do.
Jim grunts, "Hunh," pawing at the floor, groping at the side of the bar, and shoves himself up enough for Gaila to heave them to their feet. She gasps under his weight against her, her fingers tighten around his wrist and on his ribs but he's still sliding in her grip.
I tried to think hard about how difficult it would be. She's doing better than she thinks, though -- I don't know if it came through, but her whole segment is a bit adrenaline-time-dilated.
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