Literally Nothing We Can Do

[browngirl]

The warning I want to put on this is "don't read this if you have daughters, because it will make you want to hide them from the world," but that warning is rather too emotional to be useful. So: this is about sexual assault and is potentially triggering, and considerably distressing.

To attempt a coherent summary: Melissa Bruen, a senior at the University of Connecticut, was walking in a public place on campus when a man grabbed her and sexually assaulted her. She fought him off as several bystanders gathered. They stopped her from hitting her assailant, restrained her, and as one man said, "You think that was assault?", pulled her top off, and groped her breasts, others cheered and shoved her around until she fought her way free.

Campus police say that the number of people who travel through that area makes it unlikely to impossible that they will ever arrest any of the men involved.

Melissa Bruen's article.

An article about the reaction to her article, which describes how respondents have called Ms. Bruen a liar and fame-seeker and criticized her appearance.

The Shakesville article which I first read about the case, which among other ideas discusses how this is not even the first sexual assault Ms. Bruen has suffered, and how that is sadly not unusual.

And now, a little of my personal reaction:

This young woman used her knowledge of self defence to fight off her attacker. The men passing by then decided to stop her and to punish her for doing so, including perpetrating another sexual assault upon her. Then when she made her story public she's been called a liar (and of course criticized for her appearance, and discussing how women's appearances are ALWAYS used to determine our worth is a whole other rant.) What does that say about the usefulness of stressing self-defence for women as the solution to the problem of sexual assault? And yet people resist as strenuously as they can the idea that the men who assault should ever change their behavior, that it is men's responsibility and opportunity to refrain from sexual assault.

As a woman, this fills me with despair. There are stories in my life and stories I have been told that Ms. Bruen's report reminds me of, not in magnitude but in kind. Recently a man I like and respect suggested that the solution to sexually harassing behavior at conventions is for women to stay home. Ms. Bruen beat her first attacker, so the surrounding men decided to punish her for it. It seems to me that no matter what we do being sexually assaulted is our fault, and if we stand up for ourselves people will just shove us back down.

Progress is not unidirectional, and there are times I worry that the status of women in the US is not improving. Such as now.

Comments

[ailbhe]

I think I'm glad I'm all out of compassion and rage now. That's so. Fucking. Typical.

[karadin.livejournal.com]

Good grief, you can't win, but thats not to say you should stop fighting, at least she still has weapons with words, no matter the response.

[gingicat]

I already knew I was getting my kids into aikido classes at the earliest possible opportunity.

P.S. You should post this to shakydismount.

[susanscookietin.livejournal.com]

But I would have said more if this was a locked post.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

*incoherent rage*

You know, this is part of what pisses me off when women say things like, "Women should back each other up," and men counter, "That's sexist! How about 'people should back each other up'!" Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it, if those passing men had backed Ms. Bruen up? But they didn't.

[supergee.livejournal.com]

Comments like those make me think we need a national educational program to remind people that the Internet counts as Outside Speech.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

I dunno--because of my connection to Duke, I read quite a bit about the accusations against some lacrosse team members there a while back, so it's definitely on my mind that such accusations can be faked. Even just going halfway through the comments show some genuine possible discrepancies in what Bruen wrote. So--

I am NOT saying it's fake--that's where superee's comment about private vs. public discourse comes in-- But I would like to know whether, for instance, the guys might be identified by bruises, if she punched them. I think this seems reasonable to at least question; I don't think that's anti-woman.

Also, as usual, only a few people managed to bring up these issues calmly and intelligently, and many people ended up saying unconnected jerky or even thuggish things about the author in particular or women in general. Yuck.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

See, I read this kind of thing and I instantly wonder, "How could this have happened?"

So here's what I posit:

People come across a fight. Person A is beating up Person B. So the crowd comes along, pulls A off B, and starts insulting and harassing A, maybe even throwing a punch or 2.

Sounds like that's what happened, except they added a little more "fuck you" to the mix.

Now, I'm NOT CONDONING THEIR BEHAVIOR -- not in the least. But part of me has to hope that at least there was some bizarre reasoning. Like she was probably beating him to a pulp, the crowd thought it was unfair and was going to give her a taste of her own medicine, and didn't believe *why* she was beating him to a pulp.

[badgerbag.livejournal.com]

Can I even dare to hope that someday one of the witnesses to that will talk about it to the media or police...

Ugh.

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

This is really depressing. With so many witnesses milling around, I do hope some of them see the press coverage and call the police. I'm not optimistic about that happening though since it sounds like it's near the end of the school year and the bulk of the students will be wrapped up with their own lives.

Sigh..........................

[invader-tak-1.livejournal.com]

Welcome to why I don't leave the house without a gun anymore.........

[the-resa.livejournal.com]

The one thing I cling to is that she fought them off, and beat off her original attacker. That makes me DAMN PROUD of her.

For the rest, as I've said before, a nice semi-automatic would take care of my feelings for the others.