Two Quotations

[browngirl]

Two things people said that I had to write down.

I've seen this process happen over and over all my life, and this is the most succinct explanation of it I've seen in a long time. From What Tami Said, 2010.

Disdain for "political correctness" is often positioned as a concern that some important truth is not being spoken for fear of offending someone. But that concern is nothing but smoke and mirrors. To invoke "political correctness" is really to be concerned about loss of power and privilege. It is about disappointment that some "ism" that was ingrained in our society, so much that citizens of privilege could express the bias through word and deed without fear of reprisal, has been shaken loose. Charging "political correctness" generally means this: "I am comfortable with my privilege. I don't want to have to question it. I don't want to have to think before I speak or act. I certainly don't wish to inconvenience myself for the comfort of lesser people (whoever those people may be--women, people of color, people with disabilities, etc.)"

I view this next one as a wider case of, among other situations, the above. And oh, I need it.

And when they tell you life is not like this, life is never like this,/life will never be like this, insist that the sun/has always found a time and a place, the moon too knows when and where to enter,/and you too have your stories,/and you too have your place. -- Shira Erlichman, from exceptindreams, after this funny poem

Comments

[awfief.livejournal.com]

Indeed, politeness is very important. I prefer politeness that's not dishonest, and do so when I can help it. For example, I don't necessarily say "nice to meet you", I'll say "hello".

Sometimes it's unavoidable, if someone asks me how I'm doing I'll usually just say "fine", even (sometimes especially) if I'm not.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Dishonest politeness is the lubricant that allows society to function. Absolute honesty destroys casual relationships and the social fabric as a whole.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

I don't advocate for absolute honesty, but I strive for honest politeness. When required to choose dishonest politeness over honest awkwardness, I usually choose dishonest politeness.

This thread being a notable counter-example, of course.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

The distinction between this thread and general conversation is "casual" relationships. Once a person has gotten close enough to another person to include significant self-disclosure, honesty becomes more of an important factor. It is important to me if someone I date is genuinely racist in his-or-her thoughts, in ways that it is absolutely unimportant to me for someone I work with.

[sethg]

Either this thread is drifting from the main topic, or you are agreeing that “PC” language is indeed a good idea, or I don’t understand your position. I mean, “African-American”, “black”, and [certain other words that I don’t need to spell out] all denote (roughly) the same set of people, so a person who chooses to say “African-American” is not sacrificing honesty.